Healing
by beth1814
Summary: A story that puts derek and meredith together the way i think it should happen!
1. Chapter 1

Meredith sat in the chair, drumming her fingers against the arm rest. She had been sitting there for awhile. There was one other person sitting across from her.

"Meredith, you can go in" the receptionsit told her. Meredith stood up and strecthed for a second before she went in to the other room. She sat down on the couch across from a woman that looked in her earlty thrities. Awards hung on the wall behind her, but Meredith paid no attention to them. She had a sudden interset in her shoes. She knew that today they would talk about him and she didn't know where to begin.

"Just start at the begining" Holly Smith said. She had years of experience and knew how to get a person to talk about pretty much anything.

"Well, you know that I met him at a bar. And that he chose his wife over me. Thats what really destroyed my trust in him, in pretty much any man. Then comes along Finn who was great and perfect for me. But Derek was still there apart of my life. I guess thats why they say never to date your coworkers"

Holly just nodded her head, wanting Meredith to continue, which she did.

"Anyways, he was always looking at me and it was impossiable to move on. It all came to a head at the prom and I was forced to make a decision between the two of them. Derek came out on top, naturally. But the trust never came back. I couldn't put my whole heart out there becasue I was scared that he was going to trample all over it. Which led to us breaking up and S&M"

"Sex and Mockery, and that made it worse?"

"Yea, It was like we were in limbo and couldn't get out of it. Then I finally tell him that I am ready, I want to move on and I hear that he kissed some nurse"

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Like I was second best, that he couldn't even wait for me to become ready for what he wanted."

"And that was?"

"A house, marriage, everything. And now he has kissed Rose, but he still wants everything with me. He is making me so furstartd and I don't know what to do"

"Have you told him that you are seeing a therapist?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"I don't know"

"Don't you think that him knowing you are healing yourself would help him relaize that you are trying to get ready for him"

"Maybe"

"Here's what I want you to do. Tell him and bring him in for the next session"

"What if he doesn't want to come?"

"Just try and see what happens"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Thanks for the reviews.

Meredith left the thearpists office, already dreading the moment that she would have to tell Derek that she is in thearpy and that her thearpist wants him to attend her next session. Well at least she had a week to accomphish her task.

The next morning, she was running late and barley made it onto the elevator before it closed. And just her luck Derek was on the elevator by himslef. It was like the gods were telling her to tell him and get it over with. It was a matter of not being a whimp. Just do it Meredith.

Derek had his own train of thoughts going through his head. He knew that Rose was not the one for him. That the other occuppant of the elevator was the one true love of his life. He felt like a fool for actullay leading Rose on, when he knew for sure that there was no future for them. Derek just has never been a patient man, and was sick of waiting for Meredith.

"I am seeing a thearpist" Meredith said, which cut through Dereks wandering thoughts.

"Really?" Maybe Meredith was really trying to become ready for them and what he wanted. Which made him feel even more worse. Why did he kiss Rose, he asked himeslef not for the first time. Ient.

"Yea, and she wants you to come in for my next session."

"Just tell me when and where and I will be there" Derek said as he got off the elevator.

Wow, Meredith thought. She had not expected that. She was prepared for Derek to do anything expect agree to come. She thought that Derek was done with her. She was certianlly wrong about that.

The week just flew by, Both of them were not sure how the sesssion was going to go, but both knew that it was a major step forward. Soon they were sitting in the same waiting room as Meredith was a week ago. Expect this time Derek sat beside her and somehow that made her calmer than she had been before previous sessions.

"You may go in now" Meredith and Derek stood up and entered the room where everything would finally be placed on the table.

Holly now knew why Derek's nickname was McDreamy. He was astoundingly handsome. The perfect man. She also noticed that Meredith was less tense than at other sessions. She made note of that fact, that Derek had such a calming affect on her patient.

"Thank you for coming in Derek. Meredith has told me about your relationship from her viewpoint. I wold like to hear it from yours"

"Okay. Well we met at a bar. It was the night before my first sift at Seattle Grace. There was this girl sitting at the bar, drowing down shots. Something attratced me to her. I don;t normally go up to girls in bars and hiton them. But something about her made me approach her. We ended up having a one night stand. And to my suprise she was an intern at the hospital. I prusued her. I take full blame in getting her to fall for me. I was married I had no purpose chasing her." Derek turned to look at Meredith who was staring at her shoes while he talked.

"I am so sorry Meredith for chasing you and getting you to date me when I was still married to Addison. It was not right of me"

"That means alot to me. I didn't want to fall in love with you, but you made it next to impossiable"

"I know. And I am sorry for choosing Addison over you, because I did, it made you graud your heart. And you shouldn't. You shouldn't. You have a big heart that is meant to be shared"

"Thank you Derek"

"Well, you two have made alot of progress. I am going to suggest that you Derek come in every other week for a jont session" Holly said.

"I am willing as long as it is okay with Meredith" Derek didn't want to insert himslef into somewhere Meredith didn't want him.

"That's fine." Meredith knew that it was important to talk with Derek to help her heal.

Later that day, Rose approached Derek.

"Where were you this morning?"

"I'm sorry Rose, but this, you and me, is over. I can never love you, not the way that you deserve. My heart belongs to Meredith and that's the way it will remain."

"I guess I saw this coming. Oh well. I would still like to be friends"

"Sure"

Derek was really happy that he had stopped whatever was starting between him and Rose because he loved Meredith and wanted it to work out. He was glad that they were finally talking and getting somewhere.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N thanks for the reviews. Less than 24 hours till Grey's returns!!

Holly has been a therapist for close to 15 years. She has seen many people of all types. Most of them blur into one faceless person. It may sound impersonal, but that's the way it is with many therapists. It helps them not get emotionally involved. But she will always remember Meredith and Derek. Holly couldn't place her finger on why exactly that was, and as a therapist that irked her, that she couldn't put her finger on what drew her in. It actually has gotten to the point where she looks forward to their joint sessions. Holly really wanted them to make it as a couple and she planned on giving them as much tools as possible to make that happen.

That's exactly what Derek wanted as well. He knew deep in his heart that he belonged with Meredith and no one else will do. She owned his heart and he would not have it any other way. And the therapy sessions were actually helping them get to where he wanted them to be. He had never really been a huge fan of therapy, figuring it was for other people. Even when he went with Addison, his heart was not fully in it. The reason for that was that he rather had been with Meredith than with Addison. But that is in the past and he now is a firm believer in therapy.

"So when is your next session?" Mark asked. Their relationship was on the mend, which true fully, he was glad for.

"The day after tomorrow." Now Mark was one that will never be sold on going to a therapist and spilling all of your problems to. But if it helped get a smile back on his best friends face, then he was all for it.

"Is she hot?"

"Is who hot?"

"The therapist, who else?"

Derek chuckled to himself. Mark will always be Mark and he wouldn't have it any other way.

"You just want to know, so you can find out what has been said about you"

"Obviously," Mark really loved that the banter was back between them, he really had missed it.

The next session rolled around. Holly wanted to get into the drowning incident and the problems that arouse because of it. She asked Derek to go first, to describe everything as it happened for him.

"I have a thing for ferry boats. They are beautiful ships and I have always have felt that they were completely safe. Then one of them causes such a disaster. I had just heard from Burke that Christina and Burke had gotten engaged."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Frustrated, I knew that Meredith was nowhere near ready to walk down the aisle, but that's what I wanted her to do. I even asked her on the scene of the crash. She said maybe sometime down the road. That crushed me. But there were patients that needed my attention."

"So you pushed it to the back of your mind and moved on with work"

"Yea, and after awhile, I noticed that I hadn't seen her for awhile. The last time I saw her, she was with a little girl. I saw her standing alone. I asked her where Meredith was and she pointed at the water. My heart almost stopped at that point. I don't even remember jumping into the water."

"It was just instinct."

"Exactly. All I knew was that she was in trouble and I needed to save her. When I pulled her out of the bay, she was blue. That is an image that I will never forget."

At this point, Meredith got up from the couch and went to look out the window. Holly nodded her head to Derek, silently telling him to continue.

"She wasn't breathing. And when we showed up at the hospital, one of the paramedics called her a Jane Doe. I was furious. She was not a Jane Doe, she was my Meredith. They booted me out of the room. I was soaking wet and cold and I couldn't stop crying. I can't remember the last time I cried that much. I just wanted her to be okay. And to shut the voice in the back of my head up that was telling me that she did it on purpose."

'I swam, Derek, I tried. I didn't want to die" Meredith finally spoke while she still looked out the window at the water. "There was just one moment where I felt tired and thought to myself, why I don't give in and stop fighting."

"But why did you, Meredith?" Holly asked. They had already discussed this in her previous sessions, but wanted Meredith to let Derek know the reasoning behind her giving up.

"There was a voice telling me that you would eventually leave me. Everyone else has, so why would you be any different. And you proved that to me when I put my heart on the line and you still chose Addison over me. And I know that she was your wife, and you wouldn't be you if you didn't try. But you broke my heart. And I don't think it has completely healed since. So I felt like giving up. But I did come back for you. I experienced a sort of in between place and there was a bunch of people there, including Doc, Denny and the bomb guy Dylan. Denny told me that you believe in happily ever after and if I didn't go back it would destroy you. So you see I did fight for you"

"Meredith, I had no idea."

"Well now you do"

"Our session is coming to an end; I feel like we made a lot of progress today and got the air cleared on some important issues. Now here's what I want you to do before your next session. Everyday tell each other something, it doesn't have to be much, just share what you are feeling with each other and we will meet back here 2 weeks from now"

A/N whew glad it's done. Anyways like always please review


	4. Chapter 4

A/N so I think this will be the end. Thanks for the reviews.

The progress that Derek and Meredith have made over the last month has been amazing, Holly thought. They went from a couple that didn't even communicate to where they are now, a couple that shares everything with each other. Nothing remains a secret. This is an important part of a relationship. She had no doubt in her mind that they will make it as a couple. They were coming in for their last session today. Holly was going to miss Derek and Meredith, but was also really happy for them and the progress they made.

Derek couldn't believe that today was going to be their last therapy session. It amazed him how much growth has occurred over the last month. And Meredith was almost there, almost ready for what he wants. For that alone, he will be forever grateful to Holly.

Meredith couldn't believe that her time with Holly was coming to an end. But it was a good thing. It meant that Derek and she were ready to make it on their own. They had a chance to make it as a couple.

"Let's talk about the future and what you both want from it"

Derek went first, as Meredith needed a few minutes to get her thoughts in order.

"I can say the normal things like I want to get married and have children. I want to build a house on my land and grow old with Meredith. And I have said this to her. But I also want to say that I don't want to pressure you into something that you are not ready for. I'm sorry for making you feel like you have to do things my way or lose me. I don't want that. You are my entire world."

"That means a lot to me, Derek. I want what you want, but I felt overwhelmed with your timeline. I don't want to rush into something and be fully prepared. You are also my entire world and I want to be with you forever, but I need some time. Can you understand that?"

"Yes I do understand. I will slow down and let you set the pace. "

"That's what I want. I want to be in the driver's seat, just for a little while. I will let you know when I want you to take control again. Look at my mother's relationships and you will see why I am unsure"

"You are nothing like your mother. And I can understand if you want sometime to make sure that you are not like her"

Holly then got them to write down a letter to each other to give to each other on the day they get married.

They left her office with the knowledge that they will be okay.

A year and a half later, after a beautiful wedding ceremony where Meredith and Derek pledged their love for each other, they read each other's letters.

_Dear Derek_

_I want to say how happy I am to be your wife. It feels weird to be saying that when we aren't even engaged yet. But I know that the day you read this, you will be my husband. I can't believe we made it off of the roller coaster and now it is time for our happily ever after. I can just imagine you in a handsome tux waiting for me at the end of the aisle. I hope that this day was better than you imagined. I can't wait to start my life with you. Yours forever Meredith Shepherd (I thought I would put that in because that's what I'll be) _

_Dear Meredith_

_I love you so much. We are married. I can't believe it. I hope that we invited Holly because we wouldn't be here without her. I am so proud of you and how much you have grown to become ready for me. I hope that I have told you how beautiful you look. I bet there was not a single dry eye in the place. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. All my love Derek _


End file.
